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prasnhym, I can give you some advice on this process. Since I don't know your state, I can't give specifics. So here goes...
Shop around for attorneys. Don't take the very first one you come across. You'll need one that will be reasonable with the prices. Any family law attorney can draw up the papers for the birthparents to surrender their rights for adoption. (In other words, they're giving you permission to adopt.) Most will give a flat fee for adoption if there isn't anyone going to contest it. Then it generally goes to an hourly rate.
If neither one will sign, then you'll have to take them to court for any number of issues to terminate parental rights. This is done in most states at the same time as filing for adoption. (I'm going through this right now.)
Grounds for termination of parental rights is different with each state, so I can't get specific on them. You said the birthmom hasn't done the court ordered requirements to obtain custody back, so is the child still in DHR/DFCS/DSS's custody? If you want, you can PM me with more details if you don't feel comfortable doing this on the boards and I can try to help you navigate these waters. I will say, you DON'T want to do this without an attorney. Your entire adoption could be at stake and many states won't allow you to do this pro-se.
Mom2J
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