[bjolly]

I need some suggestions. Our wonderful daughter came to us from foster care 2 months ago. She's 10 years old. She's AA, and we are CC, also we are a 2 mom family. We live in a diverse community (about 60-40 AA to CC) but her school is about 90% AA kids.

She's very very shy. Kids at school have noticed that she has a white mom (they haven't noticed the 2 mom thing as yet) and have asked her about it. From what she's told me, they don't pick on her about it, but have just been curious and asked questions. She says she doesn't like going to school because everyone knows she has a white mom.

to top this off, her basketball coach is having a party this weekend at his house for the girls in her age group. These girls know she has a white mom, since they see me bring her to practice every Saturday, but they also haven't seen both of us. She wants us both to take her to the party, but I don't think she realizes that she will get questions then about having 2 moms.

We know she will have to deal with being different, and we'd like any input on how to help her with this. She is intensely shy (terrified to try to make friends, actually) and I wonder if it would be bad to have just one of us go to the party. I know she'll have to deal with the 2 mom/white moms issue in life but I wish she didn't have to deal with it quite yet as she's trying to get settled in and comfortable.

any suggestions to help us help our little girl?