We have not adopted yet from another state, but started looking into different states as children were presented to us. I'm assuming from your post you are looking for very specific experiences that others have gone through, but every situation will be sooooo different. Many things can be variables and change the case. I'm sure you can pick a state if you think you will have a better adoption experience or shorter wait or something, but for the most part we are being told where the kids are from not picking them out by state. I realize we are more specific in that we are adopting Native American, but I still believe every time it will be different. For example we were asked about kids in Washington State and were chosen for them within one day. When it came to Kansas it is taking 3 months for a judge to give an answer. The special needs criteria is different for each state among many other things. Sorry I don't have a personal story to share, but I have found the following site to be extremely helpful during our journey. You can pick a state and it will tell you the answer to 13 questions about that state's adoption assistance laws. If you search around you will find lots more about the different states and their individual laws among other things under the left hand column under "For prospective parents". Any ideas what kind of child(ren) you would like to adopt? Good luck, hope this helps.
http://naic.acf.hhs.gov/parents/pros...pt_assistance/