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shycar, I am so sorry for your loss. I am afraid that in a few months, my hubby and I will be going thru the same type of situation. I won't get into too many details (just do a search - and you will find MORE than you want to know regarding my case!!).
Our fs was placed with us when he was 14-months old as a "placement to adopt". He is the fourth child for the 54-year old bdad (I found out Tuesday night that there is a 33-year old daughter that he has had nothing to do with that lives in another state) and the SEVENTH child for the bmom. This couple shares three children, two girls (ages 8 and 6 that a paternal grandma has had guardianship of since October 2001) and our fs. This bmom has four other children. It was pointed out in the case plan meeting the other afternoon that they have NEVER raised a child past the age of 12 or so. THEY HAVE NONE OF THEM. When my fs was removed, it was only him and his 8-year old half sis living with them.
IMO, I believe that when a child is placed with you as a "placement to adopt", you let your guard down a little and you develop stronger feelings than you would if the child was a "regular" placement. He was placed with us in October 2003 when he was 14-months old (we were his third fh). He had not seen his bparents since July or August 2003. They were put in jail in September 2003 and then released in June 2004. We did not start supervised visits until end of January 2005. So, we went all of this time with NO contact between bparents and child.
My situation is like leaabc123, the bparents won't (IF) get him back because they have changed (even though the Judge thinks so??) they will be getting him back because the DFC made an error.
I know what you mean about this child "felt like family". My mom and others joke and say that our fs acts just like me and my hubby. They say that if they didn't know any better, they would swear that I gave birth to him. He acts sooo much like my husband, that I tease him and "accuse" him of having an affair with the bmom!!!!
Anyway, I'll stop here with my whining, because this is about YOU. You, your family and this little one will be in my thoughts and prayers. If you need to "vent" or "talk" or whatever, don't hesitate to pm me. I am a GREAT "listener"!!!
Christina
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