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Hi Mary!
I completely understand your feelings! Believe me, though, if you really have your heart set on this adoption you will find the strength to do whatever it takes, and you'll do just fine. Just take it one day at a time, one document at a time, one homestudy visit at a time.
Depending on where you live and which agency you use, you may have a choice of social workers. They can differ greatly. Most stick to the task at hand--getting your home study written according to the laws of your state (some states have more intrusive requirements than others) and helping you get ready for your adoption--and a few will venture off into more subjective areas like advising you on when your child should be potty trained, etc. If you can get references from others who've used social workers in your area, definitely do so.
Yes the process is somewhat embarrassing and very intrusive by nature--when do we EVER discuss how we solve marital arguments, what our income was last year, or whether that surgery one of us had 8 years ago has had any lasting effects, with a near-total stranger?? But just keep your eye on the prize and you can get through it!
The paperchase is really not bad if you can stay organized. Create a master file and keep it in order all the time, and just attack each document one by one till you're done. When we started out I decided I would look at our paperchase as my part-time job. Stay in close contact with your agency and fax them a copy of each document as you complete it so they can catch any errors. And if you wish, use a dossier service for the certification/authentication process. We are and I am extremely glad we decided to do so.
Don't stress out too much! It really will be fine, though there will certainly be frustrations to overcome along the way. Congratulations on beginning the journey.
Joyfulme3x
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