[sfbaymom2000]

We've had our dd four months, and although it has certainly been challenging, I still tell people that waiting to be matched with her was by far the hardest part. Every time the phone rang, I thought, "Is this it?" I even joked to my husband that some day we would look back and realize how impatient we were being (he got very frustrated waiting). As it turned out, from application to placement took 8 months...less than a pregancy! I know many people wait a lot longer than that, and my heart goes out to them because I know how hard it is.

I got so obsessed that I was scouring the on-line listings of waiting kids, and had just started researching international adoption seriously the day before we got the call.

Jessica - I understand your point, and how remembering that your good fortune will be someone else's heartbreak might make the waiting easier. But don't let yourself feel guilty. My friend and I were both feeling like that...like we were hoping for someone (a birth family) to fail. But another friend pointed out that these kids will need homes regardless of what I am hoping for or wanting. It is just good that there are families (like all of us) here waiting for them.

For all of you that are waiting, I would TRULY encourage you to enjoy and take advantage of this time you have before placement. Pamper yourself and spend time with your spoue/partner and any kids you have already. I wish DH and I had taken a trip before M arrived, and I wish I had spent those hours with C (bio daughter) rather than searching the on-line listings of waiting children. Good luck to you!