[julie27]

Hi! I was just wanting to talk to some people that have already experienced everything that I am right now. My husband and I are VERY early in the adoption process. In fact, we just made our decision a few weeks ago and haven't even chosen our agency yet. We know that we want to go international and are pretty sure that we want to go to Kazakstan but we don't even know how to go about deciding on an agency. We've even considered doing an independant adoption, but we don't know if that is even possible in Kazakstan. Does anyone out there know?

Anyway, I'm just feeling incredibly overwhelmed and emotional today. I just want to get things going because we've waited so long to become parents. I do find that I'm feeling much better than I did when we were going through the whole infertility stuff, but I still get that yucky desperate feeling sometimes. I am so excited that we are growing our family through adoption and I am even happy that we could not conceive because I am absolutely positive that this is God's will for our family (I suspected this the entire time we were trying). But, I still find myself having a hard time with my sister's pregnancy. I have an identical twin sister that got pregnant in her first month of trying. I am so happy for her and can't wait to be an aunt, but I still find myself getting a little jealous. Not so much that she gets to be pregnant (that doesn't matter to me anymore) but just that it was so easy for her. Any suggestions? I love my sister so much and I want to be there for her in every way but it is soooooo hard! Well, thanks for listening and sorry my post is so long. I just needed to get some things out to people that I know will understand how I feel. I look forward to talking with some of you.