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If it's a gift you feel is special, send it with the card you picked out.
I wouldn't want a gift I felt was sent out of obligation (and it doesn't sound like this is). I would love something that was a "I saw this and thought it was perfect!" . It would be something very special to me.
I hope your relationship gets more comfortable in the future. Worrying about whether or not an adoption will close is not fun.
Peggy
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