Kathy,
I, too, am from a small rural area of Minnesota (NE). I have been through fos-adopt through concurrent planning and have not had any positive experiences in that area.
I went through LSS for Waiting Children - there are no fees, but that is for MN children only. I adopted both of my sons from out of state, there was an additional fee for that, but most states reimburse some money - as well as the IRS $10,000 tax credit for special needs children.
Once you select an agency in your area, you do a lot of paperwork, go to classes, read adoption books and take specialized classes (many agencies require 8-12 hours/yr. for "additional training") - then once all that is completed, the worker will write up your homestudy. I've been told that special needs/waiting children homestudies are done more quickly than infant/international - but I'm not sure how true that is! It's a couple months or so, depending on your agency (feel free to PM me for advice on MN agencies).
Finding a match depends on what you're willing to pay/do. Outstate will likely be faster, as you're looking for 8 and under. In fact, CA Kids has a few beautiful sib groups of 3 right now (wish I could take 'em!
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But your likelihood of finding those types of groups in MN is slim and none unless you qualify for ICWA. Also, depending what rural area of MN you live in, it is difficult to get placement of kids from the Twin Cities - they prefer to place in their own counties or Twin Cities counties only! (and unfortunately they have the largest #s of kids in the state) So personally I would advise out-of-state.
Once your homestudy is done, you can start applying. The fact that you'd like a sib group will help. My guess is it'll take you a few months to a year. It's all at the whim of the SW's - don't get me started!
Pros of adopting waiting children are: the love you receive from kids who've never known it; friendship and support from the best families around (adoptive families, of course!); financially most kids come with their own health insurance and a small monthly stipend to help with expenses; and did I mention loving the most special kids ever (mine is blowing me kisses right now for helping him find his toy bus
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Cons of adopting waiting children are: SW's, SW's, SW's; paperwork; dealing with the county/state system; inadequate info/bio/medical on your child; beaurocrats and red-tapers that don't give a **** about your kid(s); schools and professionals that insist on knowing stuff about your child that is none of their business; the meanness of adults and children - or I should say, the ignorance of adults and children about adoption, let alone special needs adoption; and forever dealing with the short stick in life that your child has been dealt from birth until they were placed with you.
(Ok, I just re-read that and it sounds a little bitter. Sorry, I've had some nasty experiences over the years.
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Seriously, though, even with all the red tape and headaches and heartaches, when I see my two handsome boys every morning, it's definitely worth it!!!
Good luck on your journey and feel free to PM me with any questions. You're already on the right track using these forum boards. They're really great!
All the best,
Sandy
Proud adoptive mama to
J, 6, AA, came home from NJ in 2001
Q, 3, AA/Asian, came home from OR in 2003
? (looking for 3rd and poss. 3rd and 4th child right now!)