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We told our parents right away. I figured 'get it over with". Both hubby and I asked our parents how they would feel about a child of another race joining the family. We were nervous about it as they had no idea how hard we'd been trying to conceive--but it turned out exceedingly well. I know we were very fortunate in that regard. Not all parents are so understanding or accepting. I still have my doubts about our whole families (as 2 sister in laws BARELY speak of the adoption and I'm not even sure their husbands are aware!!) My choice to tell all right away was for my daughter. (I'm adopting from China...so likely a girl) I wanted everyone to have a plenty of time to accept this was happening and get all the crap out of their systems now. I'm 39 years old. I can handle crap...I don't like it, but I can handle it and will. My daughter will be a child...she won't have those resources yet to deal with intolerance. Critisicm and bigotry from family will hurt way more than the looks and comments of strangers..so I wanted to give my family time to acclimate to the idea and me time to figure out who the problems were going to be in order to protect my daughter.
As far as the homestudy. I had to have recommendations from family as well as friends, coworkers and our bosses. This may be just my agency however as I noticed my agency asked for WAY more recommnedations than any of my friends agencies.
Hope it goes well!
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