[whereintheworld]

Hi! DH and I have been married for 18 years, and are just starting the process...hoping to bring home a little one from Guatemala. We both come from large families, and we are both the second youngest of our siblings. We are sort of in a position "between the generations", as most of our nieces and nephews are college age or older, and some are having kids of their own. We hope to sign with an agency this summer.

To date, only a few friends know of our plans....none of them are family members. We have been hesitant to bring up the issue, as we really don't want to deal with more negativity in our lives. Our families have always treated us like little kids, and we expect some to give us a hard time about waiting to do this "at our age", rather than concentrating on a comfortable retirement. (I am feeling a need to talk with my mom (who is adopted), and know that eventually, she will be thrilled for us.

On the other hand, we are seriously considering not telling MIL until we have a referral. Therefore, we really don't want to say anything to any of his brothers or sisters either (although we are considering asking one of his nieces to write a reference). I feel bad about the secrecy, but MIL is a nosey and judgemental person who likes to comment on other peoples situations and give (unwelcome) advice. I have listened to her talk about a cousin's infertility issue for several years now, and I REALLY don't want us to be her topic of conversation. I expect that we will always have issues with her using inapropriate language about and for our child...

Anyone else decide to wait until pretty far into the process to share? Will this decision be a problem for us in our homestudy process?