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Originally Posted By Pam

I'll never forget one of the first times I took my then two year old African-American son out to lunch. He was fussy and ended up throwing a tantrum. The couple next to me and my hub and little boy were glancing at us and him, and, for the first time in my life, I found myself asking myself, "Are they upset because he's crying and disruptive or are they upset because he's black and crying and disruptive." I have become VERY sensitive to any sort of racial comments. Things like "Jesse Jackson is a racist" (a comment I hear a lot, especially on my favorite politics chat channel) get me really hot and I find myself thinking of my kids and trying to make the moron on the other end of the monitor understand that he is NOT a racist; he is fighting for inequalities that have always existed, and still do today. I find myself cringing when people make "commie" comments because some people are so shallow t hey think all asians are communists (this is in relation to my Chinese and Korean son) and I find myself near tears when people say they don't think the races should marry. Obviously, to me, none of that makes sense or matters. Although I look white, I don't think that way anymore, although I was always rather sensitive to racial and religious slurs. It is worse now. Nobody has directly attacked my children. But every racial slight I hear (against even races and groups that don't apply to MY kids) hurt me deeply. I am so proud of my kids and think they are so special (the best kids on earth) that it breaks my heart that anyone else may not think so, based only on race because, truly, my kids are beautiful. I read about the Civil War and segregation and am furious that this ever happened. I rememer days from high school, when I'd date an African-American boy, and we'd get seated in the back of a restaurant. This was in the early 70's and NOT in the south. It was considered such a strange thing to do back then....I ask myself why it was considered strange (where I live now, it is common and no longer considered that strange)....I wonder why anyone would think it is strange at all. I stare at people who ask me if I want my one biological son, who is 23, to marry a white girl....like that matters to me. I shake my head that some people think there is no racism anymore, and I hear it a lot, always from whites who obviously do not live with or love anyone who is not. I get enraged when people say "blacks are as prejudice as whites." I want to scream, and sometimes do say, "It's a reaction to the treatment, stupid!!!" Yes, I look white, but I will never feel white or think white again. Ever. Am I sorry? NO! NO! NO! I'm *glad!* Ok, I vented and I guess the point of my post is that I feel it is very important for people to realize that once they open their hearts and souls to a child of another race, they become a part of that race and never quite see things the same again.

Sadly, there are exceptions to that rule...people who adopt kids from Korea or kids who are black and raise them without acknowledging ethnic differences, saying, "Love is all that matters. Love is colorblind." I know of a poor college girl who is Korean and was adopted b y an Irish-Catholic couple who call her "My Irish Princess" and put her in Irish stepdancing and dress her in green on St. patrick's Day, but never give her any pride in being Korean.....they even gave her an Irish name.

Hopefully, most of us know better than that and are more sensitive than that.

That's all I have to say. Hope it makes sense. It came from deep in my heart.

Pam