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Originally Posted By Pam

For me, due to my family, I hung on every word. I often want to ask "did we do the right thing?" to African-Americans and your feedback was great, although I didn't ask for it from you.
Actually, our neighborhood does have a few African-American families (not a lot, but it's growing) and we have a few ver significant people in our lives who are also African-American. Also, unlike some, since we homeschool, we can move when the kids get older, if they don't feel comfortable. Both my husband and I grew up in very diverse neighborhoods where people of all races mixed and usually (not always) got along quite well, and we can move back (although we do like the quiet of the country).
In a moral way, do you feel we did the right thing? You can be very candid and say "no." But this is an honest question. All three (going on four) of our kids had no other adoption prospects (we would not have adopted any child who could have gone to an African-American family). We want what is best for all children. We love our children with all our hearts and would die for them, but is that enough? In your opinion, do you feel they would have better off in black foster homes, although none would have been able to stay in their placements? BTW, strangely enough, the girls out here really seem to like the black kids (so far they are all boys) at the high school and they don't lack for dates at all, but I really do want my kids to have the option of dating kids of their own race.
All my kids have certain special needs, but seem to be doing well and are happy now. I realize there is a bigger picture here. My two Asian kids are grown and almost grown. They are doing great and have wonderful social lives, but I can't help but think that it is easier to be Asian than to be black (although they've both had a few experiences of racism).
In short, do you feel it is morally right for us, or for any family who is caucasian, to adopt black kids. If so, under which circumstances, to feel it is best. I've been reading your posts for a long time and consider you a very intelligent man with wonderful insight. If you feel comfortable doing so, please respond. I am NOT one of those folks who thinks that everyone is color-blind and society has fixed everything by ending segregation (yes, I've talked to some clueless folks who think racism no longer exists). And I can handle criticism quite well.
Our motives for adopting black kids are that we wanted to expand our family and that we wanted to adopt kids who seemed like they wouldn't be adopted at all. We actually were not specifically looking for kids of any race, but these are the kids who came to us. We definitely wanted boys as they are much harder to place.
Good luck with your newest child (I hear there may be one in the works) and any feedback, even a scathing one, would be appreciated.