Hi again
God how that Dr treated you just sounds dreadful! Sometimes people only see what makes sense to them dont they?
Glad to hear your mum is coming round. Mine did too, I think initially it was a bit of a shock and she needed time to take it in. All my family are very supportive now. I still havent told a lot of other people. Not that I would have a problem defending our decision. I just dont want to have to at the moment.
The profile was hard. It took us a few weeks to do I guess. Our social worker showed us 3 examples of other ones and we really liked one of those, so we kindof modelled ours on that. Once we had the vision of what we wanted it wasnt too hard. Some of the written stuff was hard, esp since me and dh are quite different people so we dont always have the same views on things. Do you keep in touch with anyone from your education days? I swapped a few emails with one woman from ours, she made me laugh - said they may end up with 2 profiles and 2 different babies which made me feel a bit better about our conflicts in putting our profile together. I guess it depends on your relationship - but I was very serious about the process and dh less so. (Which is true of our attitudes in life anyway). So I got a bit stressed by it and had to be careful not to just take over and do it myself. Does this make any sense? I know I'm raving. Anyway, the one regret is I dont think we had great photos of ourselves in there either. I would like to update them at some stage. It also takes a while from submitting your profile until getting in the pool, which I didnt know at that stage. They have to be looked at by a couple of sw's and then you get a letter. The other thing is the letter states you are in the pool for 2 years before you have to have medicals etc again - and the 2 years starts from when you first put your name down, so we lost 9 months just being in the process, if that makes sense? That was a bit of a blow at the time, but I feel pretty relaxed about it all now.
I've just read a great book, if you're interested called "Conquering Infertility" by Alice Domar. It's not a fix-u-up type book, but more about the mental/emotional states and how to manage anxiety and stress (if you have it, which I'm not saying you do). I've found it's helped me to take a more positive attitude.
Have you read anything on adoption in NZ? I read something written by a NZ woman who adopted in the 70's, so it's quite old but I found a lot of it relevant to me still. Cant remember the name of it now. Will try to.
Well, I am a bit of a raver, so I will stop now. Keep in touch.
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