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Thanks for your reply Loubielou, I really really appreciate the contact. I totally get what you are saying about people questioning your decisions. We had a follow-up appointment yesterday at the fertility clinic. We are still on their books but are not actively trying to get pregnant anymore (were not using contraceptives tho, what would be the point). Completely out of the blue the Dr said she was going to put us on the IVF waiting list because we are now eligible for the two free IVF cycles. We had never met her before and she hadn't even read our file and yet thought she knew what we wanted. When we explained that we didn’t want to go on the waiting list yet , and told her our plans (we said we wanted to adopt first and then possibly look at more fertility treatment further down the line), she got totally anti and completely judged us. I’m not kidding. She snapped that anyone else in our situation would jump at the chance to be where we are and then left the room. She returned about 10 mins later and said that the shrink down the corridor wanted to have a word with us. It totally angered me (and made me cry of course) she declared the appointment over, and we wandered on down the shrink. The shrink had no idea why we were there – in her words, we were communicating and stable and obviously knew what we wanted and she thought there was no reason why we ‘needed’ to talk to her. Some people just can’t get that we are happy with this choice and that we don’t feel like we are accepting 2nd best. On a good note tho, I think my mum has come around a bit about the birth parents thing. My brother has a child who he is only allowed to have contact with on his weekends and ditto the rest of the family. It was his birthday recently, and my mum mentioned to me that it would be nice to be able to ring my nephew (her grandson) and just wish him a happy birthday. I agreed with her and said, I guess that’s a thing that birth parents could like the opportunity to do also, just ring up and say Happy Birthday. My mum had never thought of it that way before, and I think it really struck a cord with her. I think all the time about when we are in the pool and what it would be like and how long we would have to wait. How did you find writing your profile? How long did you take?
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