1casa,
I realize you have alot of experinece with these kids in foster court as a appointed special advocate for foster children.
I know you mentioned for her to rethink her position....
but i think whoonethis..did a great job actually. sure, she was very overwhelmed, who wouldnt be...but i think the problem lies with people who have worked with kids,
who know these kids, like DSS, and probably really should educate some more on what these children bring.
they touch on it, but its not like anything that i have witnessed.
i think most adoptive/ foster parents learn through experience and forced to educate themselves...it shouldnt be that way. the education should come first, then the experience. especially since we are dealing with children.
im not sure how many adoptive parents or foster parents, if we were told that this is the way your life will be...would even think about going through with it.
maybe thats the reason why they dont tell you this, because thenalot of people would back out...
believe me, if i saw a video on what my kids looked like while living in a foster home or whatever, i would of run for the hills...
verbally if i hear..."has trouble with limit setting"......it sounds so doable.....but if i saw what a child looked like who had trouble with limit setting...beleive me, it would not be what i invisioned.
I think whonethis learned alot with the kids...she was open and clearly was overwhelmed....
I remember the feelings i had with my older son, and they were not warm fuzzies....
who knows, as she sees these behaviors first hand, she might be more equipped to handle an adoptive child from the system due to what she has learned.
i agree, alot of patience.....but i think a well informed parent makes a better parent. And i think DSS could do a better job on training.
i would of loved to see a video of a child in the system who experienced trauma and how that looks.
but we didnt get that....everything i learned has been baptised by fire....i had no choice but to educate myself on these behaviors..
Just to be clear, i dont regret my decision, i love my boys, but i would of got so angry while i was going through the craziness with my boys, someone say "well, you better rethink your decision"
its not about rethinking a decision, its about knowing where the support is, if the children start with those RAD behaviors....
alot of people dont know....