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Teacher -
Cindy placed her daughter Malia (born April 12, 2001) in what was supposed to be an "open adoption". The aparents had carefully nurtured a relationship over the course of Cindy's pregnancy to "ensure placement" but that relationship evaporated shortly after the birth of the baby. No more contact, the promised visits were termed a "misunderstanding", the pictures arrived, sometimes on time, but only twice a year, and often fuzzy. There was never any agknowledgement of the gifts Cindy would send or anything that showed Cindy that she was valued or loved by the same people who had called her every day while pregnant.
Cindy was already devastated by the state of their relationship. Then in January, 2004 the adoptive mother authored a book called "Fast Track Adoption". This book was essentially a step by step guide for OTHERS to do to potential birthparents what they had done to Cindy. Nurture a relationship to "ensure and moniter the birthmom's committment to the adoption".
Cindy was destroyed by the book - becoming aware that unknowingly she would contribute to other birthparents sufferring the same loss and heartache that had been inflicted upon her. The aparents were heartless in their approach to Cindy.
On April 8th, 2004, just before her daughter's 3rd birthday, Cindy killed herself.
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Jensboys - Mom of 4 Boys (2 adopted, 2 biological)  Reunited Sister
Fostering Miss Tiny and Miss Curious - Two Months and 13 months when placed May, 2009
Blogging about reunion with our 14 year old, Not reuniting with our 13 year old, transracial parenting, adoption and life as a minority family in a rural community. And oh yeah, now I have cancer.
'Oh, the audacity of authenticity. You’re going to confuse, piss-off and terrify lots of people – including yourself. You're going to pray it ends, then pray it never ends.' -- Brené Brown |