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May
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this terribly freightening experience. I know first hand that you have never experienced something so frustrating and scary in your entire life.
As hard as I try, I can't understand why there's a law that gives birth parents and their relatives so many rights, and the people who are actually caring for these children absolutely none - It's crazy making.
Something that has worked well for us, although we're not even close to being out of the woods, has been to befriend birthdad. This is the hardest thing I have ever done, but it's been worth it in so many ways because it's helped him to see us as people, rather then foster parents.
We see him twice weekly at visits, we drive him to AA and we have even taken him out for dinner. In fact, I never thought I would get to a place of caring about him - but I do. He's nice guy, despite his bad choices. And most importantly, he's my daughters father.
Spending time with him has helped him see what great care his daughter is getting from us, and everything we provide for her. By befriending him he can trust that we will never bad mouth him to his daughter.
I know it sounds crazy, and it may not help us in the end, but it can't hurt.
I'm so saddened to hear of another person facing this crazy situation.
My family and I will keep you in our prayers.
P.S. Don't give up hope!
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