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I would not agree to unsupervised visits. I would agree to sending pictures a few times a year and if that was not enough for him, I would allow short visits at a public place a few times a year. And I would do those things because only if it felt comfortable.
I have had my fost/adopt son his whole life (9 months)and the TPR hearing is in May. Before his bmom left town (in December) I had hoped to have a semi open adoption for my son's sake. I was going to get a PO box and ask her if she wanted to exchange pictures and letters over the years. And then someday if my son expressed an interest in meeting her...I would have her information. I knew that because of her drug history that she could be a dangerous person. Plus she has a huge anger problem and is in a big deal of denial. So I was not open to the idea of visitation or her knowing where I lived. BUT in December she took of and has not been found by DYFS yet. She has missed several court dates and they do not expect her to resurface.
But again, these were things I was comfortable with for my SON'S sake.
Would you be open to visitation if bdad already had his rights terminated but just wanted to be in his child's life? I know you would do anything to keep your child with you and that is totally NORMAL! But remember that you do have to live with whatever decision you make. I WOULD NOT allow unsupervised visits. This is a tough one.
Again, I would go for the whole pictures and letters through a PO box, thing. It would be GREAT for your child to have those things when he/she gets older and wants to know more about bfamily. And it's not a threatening situation. I would see if bdad would be okay with that. If not, then go from there.
This is a tough one! But for me, if it came down to it...and I was going to lose my son...I would do anything to keep him!
Good luck and let us know what you decide!!!
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