[nursie]

I put this thread on the foster care thread also but thought someone from this angle might help.
We have a 6 mo old fd we hope to adopt. Her bdad came forward is contemplating whether to take her or to relinquish his parental rights. The CW has suggested offering him a once a weekend / month visitation to be written up in court as part of an open type adoption. We are thinking he would be more willing to relinquish if offered a contact agreement.

We are willing to keep open contact with him but I am not sure I want it to be in writing and be so specific. We want to feel as if we have some control over when she goes, etc. without having a court ordered documents making demands over who and when our daughter will go.Afterall, we will legally be her parents .

Has anyone done this type of plan and if so how well is it working and would you recommend it or not.
We want our fd to remain in our home and be safe and grow up with her brother whom we hope to adopt as well (his bdad is unknown.) But, on the other hand we don't want to have our life ruled by the Courts even after adoption. At some point we want to feel as if we have some control over visits and we are willing to keep in touch and allow contact but we feel we should be the ones to set the limits. Isn't one weekend a month a bit excessive ?
All thoughts and comments appreciated.