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In regard to the cold water:
Well her therapist agreed it was not only appropriate but worked very well. My child went from 5 different psych drugs three times a day, not being able to sit for five minutes to have a conversation, no eye contact, not being able to read or do simple addition--- to having NO meds period, being able to read & do math & phonics & soc. studies, being able to paint with me for a hour at a time or watch a whole movie together. She no longer touches other children in their privates, nor does she grab food off someone else' plate. She lies much less & steals much less.
She also is giving hugs & behaving with much more empathy. She also has friends now. She had NONE before. Her case worker also approved of the cold water. And everyone agrees she's made more progress in our home than in the years of foster care! We take it one day at a time.
As for it being for my benefit-- how ridiculous! I used a variety of things to get her to quit raging-- from singing while she was screaming - to throwing a fit with her. How did water help me when my furniture was destroyed or belongings? And I mean destroyed- with whatever sharp instrument she could get.
You folks have so many preconceived ideas about what is correct & not, but you weren't there when it was me she opened up to about the sexual abuse she'd endured in her birth family. You didn't get to see the inch by inch progress. You have no idea how we talked & rocked & started over & over & over. You have no clue how dearly this child is loved or how much she now loves in return.
Lastly- it isn't so creative to think of a way for them not to tantrum. It is wonderful when they no longer HAVE to tantrum. I don't mean to argue- and especially DAD I respect you alot- but I still say you don't go along with any horrendous behavior because they came from foster care. Many of these kids know you can't or won't punish them. I have seen foster kids dare people to make them mind.
Ok- off my box now.lol.
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