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Ok I cant stay quite. I keep coming back and re-read everything over again. First of all I dont not want to offend anyone. We are here to help one another and sometimes we have to be honest to help. There are two main things I would like to mention.
First one is comparing them to your sons. I never thought it fair to compare one child to another. They are all individual, who act and deal to things diffrently then others. Your sons were raised in a loving home. These kids were not. They need extra time and love. The oldest is a Girl. Believe me what you mention of her sounds normal for an 11 yr old girl. Girls tend to be more snotty ( I hate that word lets say more outspoken). I know I was. Girls also tend to be more sensitive then boys. I noticed that you complained more on the girls then the boy and maybe you have step back and remind yourself that they are girls and react different then your sons. My brother and I are as different as night and day and we were raised by the same loving family. I have been a foster mom for 3 years and Im still learning. Some things work on some and does not on others.
The second thing is attitude. I sense that you have a bad attitude twords these children. I feel that you are only seeing the negative of these kids. I do not believe that a child can be all bad there is always something good. We all have times like this, I know I have, but when I or others notice and mention it to me I change my attitude. I change to positive. Maybe start rewarding them for the good stuff, dont worry so much on the bad. Try to sit and think back and see all the good qualities. I bet youll see they have lots. Maybe instead of sending the 6 year old to bed earlier, I know if my parents did that to me Id give them hell, dont read her a bed time story. She wants your attention, thats prob why she is having tantrums, mention that if she goes and gets ready for bed quietly that you will read her a book of her choosing and to have it ready for you. That way if she goes and behaves she is being rewarded. My kids loved the time I spent with them. I make sure to go to the one that lose patience faster, that way they wouldnt fail. You should really think if you can be possitive in any situation. Kids will always surpirse you especially foster kids and sometimes we need to laugh and go on. I know I do it all the time. I believe if you can not change your attitude then maybe this is not for you. I do not want to discourage anyone, but I do not think it is fair for children to be in a home that will not deal with there problems in a positive way. Fostering is very hard and some people can not do it and that is nothing wrong with it. I hope that things will get better for you. Good luck
Oh sorry one more thing please try and try to be more positive. These kids probably sense you dont like them and they will keep misbahaving until you change your attitude twords them.
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