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I am new to foster care and have only had one placement. He is 16 and I love him dearly. But issues? Oh boy does he. But what else can you expect? He was taken from his Dad's house for physical abuse that had spanned the whole time he was there (3 years). And when he was taken to his Mom's house she voluntarily placed him in foster care. She didn't want him! Now, yes he has issues but I couldn't imagine signing over my own child. And so why WOULDN'T he have issues. He is testing us and seeing if we'll send him away. He has been in 6 foster homes in 6 months until us. He would do something and they would send him away. I told him when he said he was the worst foster kid ever that he couldn't get rid of us that easy.
Honestly this how you would feel, as an ADULT, if I came into your house tomorrow and said "Fill this backpack up with what you want to take with you. That's all you get." Then I take you to a new home and family that you don't know and say "Ok this is your new family, you're living here now." I'm an adult and I know I would be mad, confused, and possibly take it out on the family there.
Maybe you should look at just infants? From what I've heard even toddlers can have the kind of behavior issues you're talking about.
And as for water to stop a tantrum. I know my private agency would probably remove the kid from my home if I tried something like this. I would NEVER try this on a foster child. They have already been neglected, abused, and/or just plain ripped out of the only home they knew. They don't need water in the face to stop them from tantruming. This only benefits you and NOT the child.
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