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What you have to decide is IF you are willing to eliminate your mother from your life for the sake of your child. It is NEVER fair to purposefully bring a child into a life where they will be talked down to / resented / not loved by the people who are supposed to support and love them the most - their family. But to consciously make that choice through adoption does a huge disservice to the child, and the child's birthfamily who is making a LARGE sacrifice for the hope of a "better" life for their child.
Lots of times we can say (and its true) that racist people will change their views "once they get to know the child". And your mother may very well fall head over heels in love with her grandchild. Or it could be the community in general that is non-accepting, but may come to accept your child - but is it fair to the child to be forced to become a one person ambassador for their race? Its a VERY heavy burden for an adult to carry - how much harder for a child?
So, if you are prepared to protect, nurture and support your child NO MATTER WHAT THE COST (including terminating all contact with your mom) then go for it. And to be honest, I wouldnt want ANY child exposed to those views - white, black or otherwise.
Jen
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Jensboys - Mom of 4 Boys (2 adopted, 2 biological)  Reunited Sister
Fostering Miss Tiny and Miss Curious - Two Months and 13 months when placed May, 2009
Blogging about reunion with our 14 year old, Not reuniting with our 13 year old, transracial parenting, adoption and life as a minority family in a rural community. And oh yeah, now I have cancer.
'Oh, the audacity of authenticity. You’re going to confuse, piss-off and terrify lots of people – including yourself. You're going to pray it ends, then pray it never ends.' -- Brené Brown |