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I would love to know more. We were matched with a nine year old girl previously, and were doing home visits when she became very intentionally cruel to my bio daughter, and acting out sexually a bit iwth my son. She didn't want us, and she really didn't want our religion - smart kid and she had been fully indoctrinated by nearly three years of an Evangelical family that Catholicism was really stupid, bad, didn't make sense. She was adamant and vocal, AND wrote a long letter expressing that she would accept adoption with someone because the judge "said" and she was going to bide her time till she was old enough to get back to her bio-mom. Judge had ordered visits be maintained with bio mom and bio aunts, grandparents, etc who lived here. She had such a strong sense of who she was and it didn't include us. We passed on the adoption and she was quickly adopted by another family.
We all know our own limitations, and she helped me learn some of mine. My son will be leaving for college in the fall, which will hopefully make the next match simpler. The team assessment went over all the aspects of this attempted / failed match and the whole team believed we had done the right thing. There is so much more to the story, but in summary: this little girl did NOT want to be with us, and we decided she was old enough to know her own mind. Age nine - you have very clear opinions by that time.
I would adopt older, I will adopt teens on the next times perhaps, and my parameters aren't locked down, except on the schizophrenia/bipoliar and severe/profound disabilities pieces. My time is limited, etc, as I am a working single parent.
We're hopeful....can you tell me a bit more?
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