[sugarbabysmommy]

I'm going to assume you are still reading. As I mentioned in my reply to Jen, no one spoke to me of my biofather, no one even asked what I thought about him being gone. This was hurtful. I was supposed to not talk about him, or my feeings about him, for the sake of all these adults. You can help your daugher by listening to her, by letting her know whatever she feels that her feelings are ok. Validate her feelings, no matter how much some of those feelings go against your grain. I think Christine and Spay gave great ideas for what to say to her, emphazing it is not because of her that he is not involved in her life.

You have said agian and again that he argues with you about everything, he can argue all he wants after he signs away his rights, but it makes no difference, he will have no rights. It takes two to argue, and once he signs away his rights you are no longer legally required to participate in any arguement. So like Jen said, it's your way or the highway if you offer a visit to either him and/or his wife. And speaking of his wife, if the two of you can work it out, maybe a visit from her every now and then (around her birthday, Christmas?) would be ok. If your daughter is very attached to her she may miss her very much. I get that you are concerned about her calling her soon to be former step mom "mommy" but with a few visits a year that's highly unlikely. If her biggest fault is loving a jerk, and she's a loving, positive influence in your daugher's life maybe you can work it out.