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All you can do is carry on letting him know you're there for him when he is ready, attachment disorder isn't that uncommon but can be worked through from what I understand. My bson's adoption was closed so didn't have any contact till last year when I found him by accident - he was searching - so haven't gone through the problems you have though I do sympathise. I don't fully understand about the problem so can't come out with any useful suggestions.
Philippa
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