[emilyangel]

Trust me, I of all people, know about 'fathers' who don't give a cr@p about their children. My daughter's 'father' told me straight out 'I don't care about her and just don't want her in my life'... Kinda bites, doesn't it?

I don't think the posters here are saying how he acted/treated her, was/is okay! Honestly, I think people are just trying to understand why the child, if she's asking to see him, can't see him. As a parent, with a violent ex-husband, I do understand, but at the same time, would be okay with my ex seeing my daughter while supervised by me for a short time. That's it. That would be my only offer, it's that or nothing for them IMO.

I'm worried that you may be reading into replies a bit too much. Or maybe taking them a bit harsher than they were intended. If I were you, I'd probably be worked up by the replies as well, but I also know that I'm easily worked up and sometimes it's good to take a step back and look at it from someone else's POV.

Try to relax, and remember, there are plenty of people out there who 'get it', and plenty who don't. Take the good with the bad. What's said here certainly isn't gospel, and you don't have to listen to any of it. Take it with a grain of salt.

I'm not sure how to approach your child, as I believe that was your original question... How have you talked to her about this before? Maybe you can ask her some questions to get a feel for her actual perception of the situation.

Four year olds are tough to handle, and even tougher to 'figure out' at times. Give her some credit, maybe she understands more than you think.