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Brandy,
I've been quiet on my dealings with this in the same fashion. Though nothing quite as harsh has been said to me, a few people have said some insensitive things. I've tried to shrug them off.
As for what to say to your Father, I am not quite certain. I do not know your Father, but from this post (alone), he sounds rather unreasonable, not logical and definitely insensitive. Again, that's what I glean from this post, standing alone, with no other knowledge.
However, as you also have said it has basis in his lack of education on the matter, I feel that there are ways to discuss this in a manner of which he may be able to learn.
I would start by giving him different scenarios: you all ready used the young one. Use the woman who placed her child to get out of an abusive relationship (along with the child) as her only course of action. Use the woman who was raped and placed because she felt her heart wouldn't be able to raise a child conceived of rape. I'm sure you can think of others. Remind him that your child wasn't taken from you: you were never proven to be an unfit mother. (So often, those who lack education on the topic of adoption tend to believe that birthparents are all unfit. Certainly not true.)
I'm certainly sorry that your Father is acting like this and that you have been shown before that you can't have a voice. I wish you would be able to say to him, "I am a Mother. I am an adult. I will be making my own decisions, with or without your support. Of course, your support results in your interaction with ANY of your grandchildren." But that's just me being a haughty hothead.
Do you think he will respond to the scenarios?
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