I am not sure how to respond to your post, but I will try. Please, this is just my opinion.
You said when you fought, he knew he could get violent and got away from you so he wouldn't. I actually approve of that. He knew he couldn't handle it, and was able to remove himself from the situation.
You may have fought with him over money, but your 4 year old doesn't know that. Wether or not he wanted to pay for anything I have no opinion on, since I am only hearing one side of the story. But, he is still you child's father. You husband may have adopted her, but he still is her biological father.
I just hope you think about all the possible repercussions to you cutting off her contact. 15 years down the line, if she wonders about him and finds him, how will you respond when she asks why you didn't let her father see her, when both he and she wanted to?
Ok, I will get off my soapbox now.
