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My experience
A year ago last December, I adopted my 4 step-children - then 9, 10, 14 and just 16. The two older ones had to sign a concent to the adoption but the judge did talk to all 4 kids (who went to the hearing). We made a celebration day out of it and went to lunch and everything. We even celebrate it each year (well, we did so far this year) as a day when we became a family.
Now, I did the adoption myself and did it under the grounds that the bio-dad abandonded the children. Their bio-dad was served via publication (we had no address on him) and didn't respond in within the required 30 days. There was a case in my state where a bio-dad just showed up for a hearing after the 30 days and was given standing so we were prepared for that in case he did.
But, he never showed up and the adoption with through in like 20 minutes.
It was a very empowering day for my children as they'd put up with lots of emotional abuse from their bio-dad and now it was over. But also, they knew that any other hope of him acting like a dad was over as well... something that they've all expressed sadness over since.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Tim
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