[spaypets]

Bethany, I do hear and understand what you're saying and agree with you, but what I think happens is the same old "idealism" vs "reality" discussion.

I was a grown person before I realized that some minorities were more "acceptable" than others (silly me, the bigots I knew were equal opportunity). But for those who were raised with that kind of stratification--even if they don't believe it--they have to acknowlege the reality of their lives and communities. In that sense, it would be "easier" to adopt a minority child who isn't AA.

I'm not defending it, I'm not saying it's right. I'm just pointing out the reality. It's terribly sad.

Of course the point about raising a child who isn't of your culture as "white" is a good one. I think that internationally adopting parents have been educated about the importance of at least getting together with other families like theirs and embracing elements of Chinese, Indian or whatever culture. The reality is, though, that you can never be Chinese or Indian--my hope is that by the time my dd gets to college there will be so many families formed by intermarriage and adoption that the borders will be breaking down.