[LisaCA]

hi kelley,

I think your soul-searching is exactly what's required to adopt transracially (actually any kind of adoption, but that's not the point here ). I have absolutely no problem with anyone doing what you did. And bethanyb is also right,the problem for me is accepting other races/ethnicities assuming they will be somehow "easier". as BethanyB says there are issues adopting an asian, latino, etc. child and placing them in that all white community. If you do plan to adopt transracially, you need to think about what your child will experience, what their life will be like, how you can make life easier for you child. Maybe a move to a more integrated community, an integrated school, etc. is in order. I guess what breaks my heart is the idea that some folks don't do the soulsearching that kelley and her dh did, will assume that these battles that "they" will fight will somehow be diminished by love.

I can't even tell you how many students i have talk to me about their lives, usually because I've mentioned that I planned to adopt or have adopted dd. I had one woman of indian descent who was adopted (by an adopted professional) into a home with white parents in an all white community and all of the other adopted kids in her house were black. This young woman knew she wasn't white, and so she now sees herself as a black woman, even attended a black college for a year, etc. Her relationship with her native India is at best problematic for her. One other student was adopted transracially (she's black), and suffers tremendous angst about how she fits in with the world, beyond the normal college angst. Hers is based solely on race, having little sense of a community with other AAs, having grown up in a virtually all white community. One other student of mine was not adopted but is of Afro-caribbean descent (both parents). his family works out on rural Native american reservations, in communities that are white and native american. he comes to college and has absolutely no clue about being an African american male (and gay as well, but that's another story). He actually ventured into a predominantly aa community, at my urging, to find a barber and was "surprised" that "they were nice" to him. This is what can happen if things aren't handled properly-these kids (I've talked about here) have no idea of their place in the world, have problems fitting themselves into the fabric of the US, and are severely alienated from the community to which we tie them. It is causing severe angst for them, not to mention me, who, as the only black professor with which they feel they can share these things, acts as their counselor and teacher. their parents loved them with all their heart, that is clear, but a couple of important skills were not given to these kids and they suffer. I won't go on with the examples of "biracial" kids that I know-time to stop here .

lisa