Okay, I'll lay myself on the line and tell you why those remarks offend me.
It cuts to the heart of whether I feel I'm an adequate parent for an AA child. I stand by all of the things I said previously: I'm not prepared for myself or my child to take on the battle that they will face from society...and deep down (way deep where I don't like to look at it) I know that's cowardly. SOMEONE has to face those battles. If someone hadn't, I couldn't vote, gays couldn't get benefits for partners, and a host of other changes that I consider positive simply would not have come to pass. And because I feel inadequate, I find myself reacting defensively to comments like those. (not to anyone on the forum, but to the truth of the comment and how close to home it hits.)
My husband and I did a lot of soul searching on this issue and we were brutally honest with ourselves and one another. Things came out of his mouth I hadn't expected to hear, and vice versa. We made the best choice for us, and ultimately, I don't want ANYONE to parent a child they don't feel capable of...special needs, transracial, step-parent, etc. If you can't do good job, if you feel inadequate to the task then DON'T, because the child suffers.
And then I look at the waiting children...those beautiful kids of AA, hispanic, native american and other minority race and my heart aches for them.
You're absolutely right...someone needs to step up. And I do regret that I have limitations that prevent me from adopting an AA child.
Kelley