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Originally Posted by aj2002
Since I last posted, things have gotten a lot better. I think that before, I was trying to pretend that everything was A OK instead of letting myself grieve. When Jake got to a point where he started to realize who his "real" mom and dad were, I wasn't ready. It was to much for me to deal with at the time. Now, I'm working on building a relationship with him based on the little person he's becoming instead of feeling "entitled" to one because he has my DNA. It took me awhile to get to that point, but I have finally realized that the little baby that I held in the hospital and the two year old little boy that loves balls are two completely different people. I still don't think that I'm fully "OK" with the adoption, but I getting there. Thanks to everyone who posted their advice here, and I hope that this makes sense....
Amy
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(((Amy)))
I am so happy to read your update. I'm so glad you are working thru your feelings while being there for your son. My daughters bmom told me that she had to greive the loss of our daughter, as if it was a death to her, she looked at me horrified when she said that and stumbled out, I mean I had to greive the loss of my daughter, the daughter I hoped to planned and raise, the dreams I had for a little girl. I knew what she meant. Placing a child involves great loss for most.
I'm so glad that you can see the little boy today who likes to play with balls and be a part of who he is becoming. I read an article once about bmothers finding their spots in their bchildren's life, having to redefine their relationship to their bchild. Stuggling to see their bchildren thru a different set of eye's and struggling even more to find self value for themselves to stay a part of their lives. I'll try to look for the article and pm you.
Thanks for the update. Thanks for talking to the adad. I'm glad you are doing better.
Hugs,
ps.. btw....your son has two "real" mothers. That is a fact of adoption. Two sets of parents, both are real. Not one is more real then the other. We are what we are.
