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Angeluv
You are treated differently by agencies depending on your race and income level. I had a somewhat bad experience with a referral service that specialized in AA & AA/CC placements. I noticed that I would always get referrals for certain available adoption situations and I started questioning it. The last situation that she referred to me involved a mentally challenged Bfather and an alcoholic Bmom. I had filled out a comfort level worksheet and apparently they totally disregarded it. I guess the only thing they considered was that we were AA.
When I questioned the worker about the types of referrals, she told me how frustrated she was as well as other adoption agencies with AA couples. She thought that AA couples are too picky with their criteria for a child. Because AA families have been so picky about the children they want she has had to “beg” CC families to adopt AA or biracial children. She did admit that it has not always worked out; some of the CC families have brought the baby back after about 3 months because he or she had gotten too dark.
She said that the typical adoptive AA family was better educated, had higher incomes and had better homes than the typical CC adoptive family. She also said that a majority of the CC families were blue collar and had to beg and borrow to pay for their adoptions. AA families seem to have the funds readily available.
We went back and forth with emails discussing this subject. She finally said that we would have to agree to disagree and she would continue her practice of trying to recruit more CC families to adopt AA & biracial children. She never once said anything about recruiting AA families. I guess that we’re just too hard to work with. If the educated AA folks are difficult to work with then just imagine what the blue collar AA folks are like.
Needless to say, she has not sent me any additional referrals but I do still receive her newsletter. Just from the photos that are included…all the placements appear to be made to CC families.
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