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We are a co-sleeping family. My boys are 2 & 4 and in their own beds. We introduced each boy to their own room when they weanied, which was just over a year old for each. We didn't push, just told them it was their room and as they grew up and didn't need to sleep with Momma, they would move in there. My oldest took to his right away. It took a while with my youngest, but they share a room and only occassionally does my oldest come to my bed-usually after a bad dream. My younger never sleepswith me anymore.
To teach my kids to sleep on their own I did NOT use the cry-it-out method. It only adds tension and leaves negative feelings about bedtime. I started by taking them to sleep in tehir bed. We read stories together and I laid there until they fell asleep. I did this about a week or so with my youngest, until he got used to his new bed. After that, I started reading the story with them in their bed and laid there for a few minutes, then left and told them I would come back and check on them. They learn quickly to read their books and fall asleep. This is how I did nap time too!
Now, my 2 year old has been in his own room full time for over 6 months. I no longer have to read a story to him in his bed. Often I read to him in the living room-so he won't get the idea for me to come lay with him-and take him to bed. Both boys are allowed several books in their bed, but are required to lay down and be quiet. If they are chronicly noisy, or whatever, they lose one book. It usually ends their. They want to keep the other 2 or so, and don't push it.
If they do need us at night, I don't tell them that they can't come to our room. To do so just creates more insecurity. We let our older son come to our bed if he wakes up really early in the morning or has a bad dream. When they are comfortable and know you are there, the occurrences will taper off. If it is a battle, it will either last for a long time or leave them confused and scared-I know, I've been there. We were never allowed in our parents room.
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