[marsha4]

All,
A dear friend of mine had a foster child for 9 of her 14 months. This baby passed away, from medical problems, nothing abusive or sinister. These problems were only recently discovered in the last month or two. The child had been sick with breathing problems and other problems, but no one linked it to a heart defect until recently. Obviously, the foster mother is distraught, the mother is distraught, etc. Here, as I'm sure in many other states, the bio mother has the say on where, when and how the child is buried. Therefore, the foster mother who's had the child and cared for her all these months, does not get to bury the child close to her hometown, but the child is being buried nearly two hours away. If the bio mother had not come up with the money for the burial, CPS would have paid for a "bare bones" funeral and buried the baby in the paupers cemetary in town. As sad as this whole thing is, it is made worse by the bio grandparents griping about the foster family, and refusing to pass on any information about the funeral arrangements to the foster family. If any of you ever question why it pays to have a good relationship with the bio family, this is a reminder. It also serves as a reminder that no matter how much we love these little ones in our care, until they are legally ours, we have very little say in the decision making. When you adopt, at least you have the right to make these decisions. Please pray for this family and the foster family to heal and get through these next few weeks and months, and pray that some peace will settle over them. Love the little ones you have in your homes, you never know what tomorrow brings.