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Gosh Dan I'm so sorry that you are going through this. As a bmom my best advice is to just be honest about what's going on. There may be some anger or disppointment on their(bmoms) part, but I know if it were me I'd really appreciate the honesty and being kept in formed of the custody situation. There may be fears about whether the openess will continue if you and your wife are seperated.
Anything you can do to reassure them that they will still have whatever arraingment you agreed to at the time of the adoption would help them I'm sure.
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Heather
Mommy to twin boys (5) and a daughter (2)
Birthmom to Bret (19)
Reunited Adoptee (1998)
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