tron, I can definitely see where reunion could impact a marriage. My hubby knew from day 1 that I was adopted and would someday search for my birthfamily. Well, bmom found me first and I wasn't quite ready yet. After an 8 year emotional tirade on my part I can say that hubby is still here . . . feeling helpless at times, distraught at times, confused at times . . . but he is still here
And now he is going to have
2 mother-in-laws !!!! hee, hee 
__________________
Lis - An adoptee struggling to be free
"They'll never see, I'll never be,
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger,
Burning deep inside of me" (Evanescence "Lies")