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I actually thought that I would never meet my b-mom or dad. This was because it was a matter of faith that the records were sealed and that Colorado judges were severe. I had simply reconciled myself to the fact. I have a family... a vocation... a life and why (possibly) derail what stability I have found?
Eventually it began to dawn on me that maybe I wasn't the only person interested or affected. My wife and kids... my b-parents... are interested and affected. At heart I know that I wanted to know whether the Hawaiian part of my story was actually true. I thought it was, but I wasn't sure. I had no reason to disbelieve it.
The truth is that I was anxious. My a-parents were close, affectionate... but I thought a little reluctant for me to pursue the question. I was anxious for myself. When I met b-mom I was thrilled, delighted, happier than at almost any moment in my life. I also thought this will forever change me. I am seeing that the change is not of the kind that I had thought... not wrenching, not frightening. It happens at the pace we choose and to our ability.
My wife was very supportive and encouraging to me and I think that I might not have searched had she not felt that way.
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