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Old 03-01-2005, 06:14 AM
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mdiebel mdiebel is offline
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48... I "searched" in the same sense as I read others did, began looking through desks at four years old, etc; but at 30 began studying adoption issues, spoke with a-parents, asked questions. Then I let it lie for 18 years, until a priest asked me "are you Hawaiian?" I have had to tell why I look different all my life... (because I mostly live in fairly homogeneous communities). My wife and I talked afterwards, realized that b-mom would be about 74. Now or never. My a-parents are both now passed on. I have processed that confused and probably erroneous "loyalty" feeling... and within six months of landing at this web site made contact with my b-mom. Met her in December 2004 in Honolulu.

Am a secret son there in Hawaii, but the relationship is begun and as she put it, "I want to salvage whatever I can."
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I could have told much by the way
But having reached this quiet place can say
Only that old joy and pain mean less
Than these green garden buds
The wind stirs gently.
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