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Hi cxk, I am sorry about how you are feeling; I know that observing their behavior during your own struggle and wait must be difficult. Your anger is obviously natural. I have not experienced infertility, but I am often shocked at the horrible ways that people parent; and it makes me angry. It cannot be escaped no matter where you go. Just last week a group of young mothers sat and had a one hour conversation that horrified me. I would like to preface that these are all mid 30s (my age) women, in a very affluent area; they are educated, all have full time nannies, plastic surgery and drive very very expensive cars. None have the challenges (and strengths of) any of the single mothers that I know, and I suspect (from their conversation) that they have had every advantage in life. They were painfully open, laughing with one another, about the hateful things that they say to their children, how they "discipline" them, how difficult their lives are and how very hard it is to raise children; they were generally not appreciative of the little person and spirit that they had been given the good fortune to guide and love. I was so mad and had such a visceral and physiological response; I thought I would vomit. Their poor daughter's are not lovely social kids, and it is not their fault.
There will always be such folks in our presence, emotionally unhealthy and toxic. They may be family, acquaintances, co-workers or strangers. While we do not want their toxicity to affect us and certainly not our children, I think we can, from a distance, exhibit loving healthy relationships. We can provide positive interaction with the children when given the opportunity and show them support. Instead of stepping away, maybe you could spend some one on one time with your nephews. Strengthen them, praise them and encourage them with words and affection. The fun that you have with them will make them happy and will hopefully ease your journey to becoming a mom.
Wishing you a short and peaceful wait.
Last edited by redhedded : 02-23-2005 at 08:08 AM.
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