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I was 22 and my husband was 28 when we started 3 years ago. We were the youngest in our class... and we were questioned a lot why we wanted to do this now...rather than enjoying our youth and doing it later.
We had desperately tried to get pregnant since I was 19 and we definately felt ready to foster and hopefully adopt if possible. We wanted to be young parents...and to be able to watch our children grow up and raise our grandchildren and hopefully see our great grandchildren someday.
When we jumped in...we dove in head first.
Our first baby(we begged for). She was a 4 month old AA little girl who was in a full body cast...due to serious maltreatment. Other than the cast she was in good health they just had to watch her for signs of shaken baby syndrome. We took that little girl in and found so much joy in watching her grow and develope. Before we knew it we found ourselves with another kid than another and another, till we got used to having 5 children in our home at a time...usually all under the age of 5. Although we did take some as old as 10.
We have just adopted 2 last year and are in the process of adopting our 3rd, who will be finalized on March 7th.
It has been an amazing experience. I have my last foster baby right now....well maybe my last...we will have to see how i feel when the time comes that he has to leave.
The only thing i would change is....not to over load myself. 5 young kids is a handful and although it is so much fun....it is nice to take life at a slower pace so you can enjoy each child....on a more individual basis.
My whole life...well at least the last 3 years has been nothing but babies and family. It's hard to find a balance and to remember that you are a person to..and need your own special time to explore your talents...go to school.. maintain friends etc. Also, itis difficult on a marriage. My husband and I never got into arguments before.....until we became foster parents....it seems we differ on parenting and add the extra household work and constant....24/7 job of being mom and dad the stress really builds up.
It has always been important to me that I be a stay at home mom. I wanted that for my own children and I felt I was robbing my foster kids if i didn't commit myself to treating them like my own children and giving them my all. I am glad i did make that commitment because 3 of my foster children have become my forever children adn I would have always beat myself up if I had missed those special moments with them, just because they weren't MY kids at the time.
I don't think you are to young. You just have to both be in agreement on the right time for you...and the right amount of kids you can handle because it is a two person job....I wish you the best of luck...as you continue to prepare yourself to be foster parents.
Read a lot of books.....not only the normal parenting books but the ones on kids with problems...like ...Reactive attatchment disorder, kids with Developmental delays, kids who have been abused sexually/physically/mentally, books about bonding etc.
The kids you will get....are not your best friends kids...who are all well behaved...and wel loved and cared for. It's important to know what is normal for children and what behaviors and stuff are because of abuse or neglect...so you can help these children. Most of the children you will receive have been exposed to drugs or alchohol(which can have some major differences in their behavior or ability to learn). Most have been neglected they have learned to fend for themselves and not to trust adults.
Most children, thrive in their foster home and with the appropriate therapies if they need them. Some have been hurt to badly in one way or another and may never be able to fully heal....they may have scars that you can't make go away.
You have to understand what your getting into....it can be a very difficult time.. but it is worth all the effort you put into it...to see a child smile and see a well deserving parent get their child back. Especially in my case where i was able to adopt me 3 wonderful children.
Well...sorry to make this so long....I'd better stop blabbing.
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