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Originally Posted By pearl

What exactly counts as a failed adoption? We've been chosen 3 times, & 3 times the birthmom changed her mind & decided to parent. We never got to meet the parents, or read their profiles, so we at least didn't get that involved-so does that count? When I read some of the stories on this board, a lot of what they say & feel I understand. For me, what hurts isn't the fact that mom changed her mind-I'm happy for the family. I just wish I hadn't known til everything was finished. It's the ups & downs that hurt so much. I cannot imagine how I could go on after having a child taken from me. All of you who have lived through that are in my prayers. I had no idea how hard this was going to be. I wish I'd read some of these boards before I jumped into it so optimistically. The reality of the adoption process is a lot different than I had thought.