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yes, DL, I did, then I got sidetracked.
I had a wonderful friend from college - a man - that was like an uncle to my children. My husband was fine with it (most of my close friends are men), and it was really nice - he was so supportive of my kids and their activities. Then he got engaged and married. His future wife apparently didn't think it proper for men and women to be friends. It was clear that she "tolerated" me and my kids, my daughter was their flower girl. On the wedding day, the bride and sister were making fun of me to my daughter's face (and within earshot of me), and I probably should have just taken my kid and went home, but I sucked up because I didn't want to mess up the wedding day for anyone. It sailed over my daughter's head anyhow. For a few years, things were peaceful, and I thought that maybe she was "over" whatever issue she had with me.
A few years later, he and wifey were supposed to come to one of my daughter's games, but there was a conflict, and I wrote him an email politely explaining that it wasn't the best time for *^*(*^ reason. Nothing mean.
Within 15 minutes, I got back a vicious email from her (she read his email) detailing exactly what a horrible person and friend I was. I responded that my intentions in cancelling were only for good, and that while I was sorry she felt the way she did, if her husband thought I was such a bad person, he should be man enough to tell me himself. I got something just as vicious as the first one in return.
When I finally managed to pin him down, he refused to discuss any of it. Granted, I'll defend my husband most of the time, but he dared to chew out one of my friends, I'd get to the bottom of it. I hear from mutual friends that he knows he owes me a conversation, but he never reached out or returned a single phone call. Not a word to my kids, just GONE. That was a few years ago.
The kicker here is that out of the blue this year we got an Xmas card from them, signed (him), (her), and ??? All the anger and hurt came rushing back - why contact me now? I was over it, or so I thought.
Mutual friends called them after getting the same cryptic card and apparently they were expecting a baby in late Dec. When the baby was born, he sent me an email with a picture and vital stats. I couldn't bring myself to respond with more than a brief "congratulations." Mature, I know, but I just couldn't do more. It was so tough on my kids when he suddenly "vanished" on them - esp. since my own brother never comes to anything. I just couldn't leave the door open. I realize in hindsight that I tolerated way more than I should have in that friendship.
It felt good to unload that - I've been stewing on it since Dec.
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