[Dibby]

As I read through these posts, I see that indeed, many people have had a failed adoption. However, it inspires both comfort and fear. My husband and I had a failed adoption last November and it devastated us both. We flew over 5 hours from home, drove through a blizzard, met the mother and her extended family (including a trip to the county jail to meet her brother) held the baby, changed his clothes and his diaper and at the last minute, she changed her mind. Literally. She was set to sign papers at 6:45 and at 6:30 she called her social worker. It was awful and the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. At the time, we thought we might not try again, but after some time to reflect on "what went wrong" as we see it, we decided to try again. We know that the only thing that will truly heal us will be having a child of our own and more time.

After reading some of the other posts here, however, I am terrified now to try again I just don't know if I am strong enough to go through that pain multiple times. Once was enough. I think it kind of goes back to the old "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" thing. Am I being too sensitive? Should the thought of having this happen again freak me out as much as it does? How can I combat this feeling? Any words of wisdom to impart?