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I don't know if you could really say that our son's birthmother closed the adoption, but she doesn't keep in contact like she said she would. Our son will be three in a couple of weeks and I wonder if she will call. Her mom called Christmas evening and our son's birthmother got on the phone, but didn't even ask about him. His birth-grandmother seemed more upset that he was already in bed when they called. The last time we heard from his birthmother was the January prior when she called and asked for us to pay for a plane ticket for a visit for his birthday. Our agreement was that she would be responsible for all transporation costs related to visits. I wrote her a letter stating that and also asking her to put her visit off for a couple of months due to some medical issues our son was going through at the time -- nothing serious, just exhausting for him, mom and dad!
I attempted to write her a few times over the summer and sent pictures thinking that would spur contact but didn't. About a month before Christmas I sent a letter to her and to her mom asking for a good address as I wanted to get ready to send Christmas presents to our son's birthsiblings. His birth-grandmother called as soon as she received the letter, but never anything from his birthmom. When we talked at Christmas she stated that she had purchased a phone card and would be calling, but we have not received one phone call.
I can't really offer any advice, because I am not sure what is going on with his birthmom. Our agency told us that they thought eventually she would move out of our lives, but for our son we are trying to keep the communication open.
Good luck to you.
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