[angelesther]

romatic relationships with adoptees can be a struggle. it is VERY important that you reasure him that you are not going to leave. fear of being left alone, or the thought that that is what you deserve can cause an adoptee to kill their own relationships, useally starting with those closest to them. if he is sabotaging your relationship it could be that acceptance from you is what is truly desires. often the desire for something is accompanyed by the feeling that you do not deserve it and should not have it. though it could be a long process of continuely reasureing him that no matter what he does your feelings for him are not going to change the end result is very rewarding. if you view the relationship as too stressful it is up to you if you want to continue, the road of helping an adoptee accept love is a long one. if you do not feel that your feelings for him will not change regardless of his sabotageing, my advice to you would be to get out of the relationship before you hurt him again through another abandonment. if you are in it for the "long haul" however, i would say that the most improtant thing is to continue to express your love to him even [and often most importantly] when he is the most "unloveable" because that is when he needs it the most. now all of this is baised on my own feelings , so take it with a grain of salt, because i do not know all of the dinamics of the situation i may be all wrong, if so, please ignore all of the above but know that i will be praying for you and hoping all gos well.

In Christ, Angel