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Originally Posted by nrhoke
I am not an adoptee, but a sibling of an adoptee and finding my sister has been a struggle!
We have tried for years, until someone suggested to go strait to the source, which in my case was Catholic Charities of Pennsylvania. So, begins a long drawn out journey.
I contacted a woman that concentrates on searches within Catholic Charities. My heart dropped when she emailed me and told me that she found the file. Since then, it has been a waiting game. There is no information on file stating my sister contacted Catholic Charities, therefore, they will not release any information. Nor can we try to make contact. Basically they said that I can't do anything, BUT they said since there is medical history, they can try to find her for $300. Money, Money, Money!!!
That is why I signed up for this site, hoping and praying that maybe soneone out there can help, or possibly my adopted sister searches this forum. I continue to pray that I may come across her in every adoptee forum I register in.
I am beginning to think that she was never told. 
I am up for anyone's opinion or information someone can provide on what I may be able to do.
God Bless,
Nicole |
You have not shared much as to ages..yourself or your sister. So I will assume you are all over 21.
I was placed through CC in KC MO so the state laws may be different in PA. However, in MO, when I, an adoptee, wanted to search, I could get the non id info and the cost then was 50 dollars. That was in 2003. If I wanted a full search it was an additional 200. I don't know what the fees are now. In any event, if my aparents were still alive, even though I am over 21 I would have had to have their written permission but since they are deceased the copy of the death certificate was what was needed. So if PA laws are like MO, that may be one reason your sister has not contacted CC. In my case, CC located my bmom who would not reply to their efforts for contact..not even to say she wanted no contact so the court ordered my case closed. In the end I hired a well known PI and learned names.
I would suggest first that you find out what the laws are in PA for a search. If you want to have CC assign a searcher that would be one way to go and if they locate your sister she will have the option of letting the CC searcher know if she wants contact. If she doesn't she may agree to answer questions using the searcher as a go between. You can ask the searcher for CC to include in her file your letter asking for contact, letting her know you would agree to it. And if there is medical information you feel you need to pass to her you could go that route.
You need to read the threads here and get a feel for how reunions work. Some are wonderful and others are not. Mine was not, my bmother wants nothing to do with me at all and shared very little medical information. YOu need to be prepared for any event, These searches are intense,highly charged and can be very emotional and stressful. REad all you can from birthmothers, adoptees and the siblings. It will be to your advantage.
Good luck....and keep in mind no question is a stupid one and we are all here to help each other sort these issues out.